Hope chapter 1 page 1

Where to start, where to start over again......I lost it.....but I am back in hope that I can get this down without losing it one more time.....totally fiction.....chapter 1 page 1.......HOPE.

The tires of my fairly old subaru seemed to sing over the new road to an old
place. This is to take my daughter back to her roots. this trip was to see roads I
haven't seen in years and visit places she has only visited in her child hood.
I am going back in time a time of laughter and love. Another life. I guess
I best introduce myself. I am Tondra, They call me Tawny. I'm Native American
and Look it. I've been told I am beautiful. I really don't believe that, though
I know I am in "fits and starts,": or can be- very charming and outgoing and....
How does one describe herself without at once sounding arrogant and dim witted.


         I keep my hair a dark dark red. I like it like that. red hair is not only a
fashion statement, but a personality statement. It says I am ALIVE and I am
youthful. I'm both those things. I'm tall willow thin and big in all the right
places. I will never be a model. They have no boobs. I get mine from my Mama
and she has a set! I get my intellect from my Dad. He is sage in his advice and
his thoughts. His thought was, I married Ray much to young, but if we worked
at it we would do alright. He and Mama did! He wished we had waited to
have baby Ally. Some things are not planned but just happen. Some of them
are happy things, some of them only seem unhappy. This is as much her
story as mine, or Ray's.


      Ray and I were married just as I turned seven-teen. He was so handsome.
I remember him in his wedding clothes. His black curling hair wouldn't quite
lay down. His big muscles in his arms and legs stretched that suit to it's limits
His shoulders contoured the suit coat as none other I'd ever seen. Maybe it
was a bit small for him...Maybe he was a bit big for it. Maybe he planned it
that way. He looked good enough to eat with a spoon! I knew he hid a
phenomenal six pack of abdominal muscles and the cutest little tush in four
states under that powder blue tux.He hid other things in there too....but Daddy
ask him not to show them to me till the wedding night. He honored my father's
wish

." It's not that I hadn't had a feel or two..I just hadn't sampled the product!"
As Ray would laugh later..we were young and we were in love.
 
   My knees wobbled so badly I was afraid the whole family would hear
them knocking together while Daddy alternately walked and carried me
"down the isle" .....through the small setting of chairs in our church yard.
I saw tears in Daddy's eyes when he handed me over to the man that
would be my husband. The man I hoped to spend my life with. He said
softly to Ray. "Remember what happens if you mistreat my baby?" Thus
he gave my hand in Marriage to this beautiful young man I loved.

I have heard the ceremony was beautiful. I don't remember to much of
it. The butterflies in my stomach seemed to take on a life of their own. I
feared I would make a mess of this beautiful arbor of flowers and friends.
That would be something to lose your lunch all over your wedding dress.

The enormity of this thing we were doing seemed to over shadow everything!
It colored the beautiful day and silenced the song of the birds and insects
in this church garden. The ministers voice seemed to drone on, till Ray
stood in front of me with a ring in his hands. This was a ring he had magically
procured from the pocket of his friend Simon. It was a ring much bigger
than the one I'd let him pick for me in town. It was white gold with a large
diamond. It glistened on my hand in the morning sun. Tears dampened my
eyes.  The minister had to prompt me twice to place my ring on Ray's finger.



When the "I DO's" were said the minister introduced us to the people we
had known all our lives. "This is Mr. and Mrs. Ray Couch!" He said over
the mike.



The whole family applauded as though they were first meeting us and
were happy for it to be so! I stood rooted to the ground with my small
hand in Ray's big strong hands. It dawned on me then, at that very moment
I would have a life time of his strength and quiet self assurance to hold me
up and never let me down!He was capable of holding me up forever as
he held me up at that very moment. Believe me, He was holding me UP!


 Ray chose that moment, in front of both our families; to kiss me as he had
never kissed me before. I could feel the red spots grow on my cheeks as his muscled
body  held tightly to mine. God How I wanted that man! It was LEGAL! I
barely made it through the dancing, feasting and cake smearing. I even
tempted him to come help me into my traveling dress....Smiling, he turned
me down..."Later Darling, I'll help you out of it!" He whispered!

Sally, " matron of Honor," helped me. I have no  idea what I would
have done with out her. Even so ; I think his help would have been
a lot less productive. I am sure, to this day it would have been a lot more
fun!!


I threw the wedding bouquet, trying my hardest to hit Sally's little sister
Jan in the face with it! I never knew who caught the durn thing. The old
shoes, cans and condoms were tied to a spanking new Chevy super sport.
IT was beautiful. It fairly glowed in the sunshine. It was Brilliant red,
The interior seemed to be made of wood, the shift lever was on the
floor and it was as fast as it was beautiful...It took my breath away.



Ray
LIFTED me into my brand new wedding gift. I could feel the leather
seats under my pastel "going away" dress! I  could smell it's" New car
smell!"



"Do you like it Tawny?" He spoke  into the wind driven by the
speed he was traveling.



" I love it..."I answered him in earnest, while he put a Tape into
the tape deck. Elvis blared out of the speakers and he took my
hand in his while he threaded the big powerful car from the
city to farm land near by. He took my hand in his. My left hand
with the newly minted circlet of gold and it's large diamond decorating
my hand.



"I want you to love it Tawny," He smiled as he took his hand
from mine and placed mine on his now bulging man hood.

I have to tell you, I was kind of shy of that!



"We might as well break it in!" He swerved my beautiful bright
red chevy from the paved road we'd been driving onto a dirt track into
a farmers field. He glided it's glistening red luxury into a dimly lit
barn, beside a huge piece of machinery. I turned my head while he
got out to urinate beside the big green monster! The tires were taller
than my Tall Strong man...I was amazed that he climbed into the
back seat of the Super Sport, instead of into the drivers seat.




"I told you we were going to break it in right!" he leered, as he pulled
me unceremoniously into the back with him. In that car I was
to learn all about speed! That Chevy taught me how to love it!
Ray taught me all about sex. I was destined to love him!



Much later while I lay in his arms, totally nude and not at all
shy...He told me his cousin and he planned the trip to the barn!
He thought the whole idea was so very romantic! I thought
the lovely motel room down the coast was more on my list of
romantic places! In truth I was as much in a hurry to see what
the great mystery was all about as he was in a hurry to teach me!



The way I loved that man must have made the Gods Jealous. He
was a beautiful man. His body was a statue. He had huge bulging
arms, broad shoulders and well, you figure out the rest...



"I want you to have a car you can depend upon while I am away. I
want to know you are not stalled on some road in Idaho while I am
not there to protect you!  You still plan to go to Idaho to find
us a spot." He smiled cause we had talked of little else in the days
before our wedding. He would go away to learn to be a soldier
and I would go to find us a home! A home that was not listed on
any reservation lands list! He wanted Idaho for it's fishing and
hunting. I wanted Idaho because I wanted to raise lots of kids,
horses, puppies and a few cows! I wanted it to be in Idaho where
the air was still clean and the kids could grow where there were
lots of opportunities and no snakes!



I wanted to be near the" Nez Perce." This was the tribe that was
my mothers by tradition and by birth! I wanted to be near these
people, near her birth place. I just didn't want to be a part of the
reservation! I wanted my children to grow as I had. I wanted
them to have a "foot" in each world. This to me was the best
of both worlds.